Equal marriage: Feminism values do not contradict the desire to create a family. The main thing is to find someone who will share your beliefs. No matter whether you consider yourself an uncompromising fighter for equal rights, or resigned to the idea that feminism in Russia cannot be, to approach the relationship as a partnership — the surest way to create a healthy family.
The family model is laid at the beginning of their life together. Here are some tips from experts to those for whom it is important to maintain equality in the relationship.
1. Focus on teamwork
As noted by the family therapist Jenny Skyler, under the joint work, she understands all that is needed to manage relationships and family.
It does not need to fall into specific gender roles. says Skyler. For example, in my family, I run our business and all the finances and my husband does the grocery shopping and cooking.
You and your partner should communicate to each of you felt equally contributing to the relationship. It’s not like common in Russian families, the man goes to work, and a woman combines a career with household chores and raising children.
For equal marriage, it is important to distribute domestic tasks so that each of you feels comfortable.
2. Challengee traditional gender roles
When it comes to everyday matters – housekeeping, cooking, paying bills – sit down with your partner and talk about what’s best for each of you.
In healthy relationships, couples have unique ways of expressing their roles, which do not always correspond to public standards. For example, I hate to sew and immediately asked the guy to deliver me from this duty.
Moreover, according to sexologist Holly Richmond, you need to challenge gender roles and in sex too. The woman does not have to wait for the man will take the initiative in the bedroom.
3. To Express their opinion
In the feminist marriage, couples should not be afraid to speak about their desires, needs and emotions.
If your boyfriend’s being closed, when talking about feelings, try to find his approach. Ask her questions, share their experiences. Try not to condemn a man for his thoughts, otherwise, he will cease to trust you.
4. Be honest
Always tell the truth because it affects your joint decisions, says relationship expert Jane Greer.
Frankness is more important than an imaginary being. Try not to dissemble, even if your words can hurt or good evening was likely to end in a quarrel.
In addition, if you want to have an equal relationship, make sure your vote counts for a partner. Of course, you’re not supposed to leave his opinion is ignored.
5. Find Out what each of you wants from the marriage
Ideally, this should be done before the wedding. Discuss your expectations of marriage and ideas about what a family should be.
Due to imposed social norms or the negative influence of parents very often people fall into certain roles when they get married. To break stereotypes and to live as comfortably you need a conscious effort.
If you hate to cook, talk about it with the guy. Perhaps he grew up in a family where my mom loved cooking. He believes that all girls are the definition of love and know how to cook. Instead of trying to meet his expectations, be yourself and honestly say that the kitchen is not your area.