Casual sex: Even a little pity that the idea that you can have sex only after the wedding is a thing of the past. Now it is not clear what distance to observe for decency. One date is enough? Or need a week? Is virtual communication enough, or only personal meetings are taken into account? How to be, if “broke”, and casual sex still occurred? How much time must pass from dating to the first sex – is the fundamentally wrong question. It is important what you want and how you will react to a possible affair. Here’s what you need to know before embarking on all serious.
1. One who initiates sex is less regrets about it
Stereotyped and highly sexist beliefs imply that men do not care where, with whom and when to sleep, they are always ready to initiate sex, and women are only amenable to their corrupting influence. From a moral point of view, in sex, as in a quarrel – no matter who started, the responsibility for the offense lies with both partners.
If we turn to science, there is a way to reduce the degree of repentance after frivolous communication. Women who initiate sex are less likely to regret meeting.
According to a study conducted by the Norwegian University of Science and Technology and the University of Texas, two things are important for a person not to be disgusted after casual sex: the level of sexual satisfaction and own initiative. The logic is that if you take the first steps, then you are most likely confident in your choice and less willing to criticize it afterward. “This is what I wanted,” you will think and calm down.
Although, of course, you should not lose sight of the fact that the quality of sex has a lot of influence on how you react to this prank.
2. Casual sex can make you more confident
But it is not exactly. Casual sex cannot be objectively good or bad for your psyche. The way to respond to such a connection depends largely on your “socio-sexual orientation.” For those who have it limited, it is difficult to move to the body without emotional intimacy. We have already talked about the extreme degree of such closeness – demisexuality – in one of the materials.
People with unlimited socio-sexual orientation are much more comfortable having sex without love, commitment and emotional intimacy. And, by the way, now you know what to say correctly is not a “whore”, but “a girl with an unlimited socio-sexual orientation”.
To understand how casual sex affects people with different socio-sexual orientations, scientists have observed 371 students for nine months. It turned out that the unplanned intimate adventures of the liberated children raised their self-esteem, and the level of anxiety after such connections was low.
People more selective in social contacts have not experienced such a positive impact from casual sex.
It would seem that this study does not reveal anything surprising, but several useful conclusions can still be drawn from it. Before you decide to have casual sex, it is important to know your limits and socio-sexual orientation. And when labeling and distributing moral evaluations, it is worth remembering that we are all different, no one is Woody Allen.
3. Women are harder to get an orgasm in casual sex
What is really there, women, in principle, more difficult to get an orgasm. If we are talking about sex with an unfamiliar man, then this orgasm is definitely not the best in life. Even when your socio-sexual orientation knows no bounds.
According to data provided by the International Academy for Sexual Research in 2013, women are twice as likely to reach orgasm in casual sex than in relationships. It is all about the lack of communication and lasting emotional contact between partners, and not that the unfamiliar man is less diligent.
4. Men and women have different reasons for regretting casual sex.
Quite often, casual sex ends with regret for his deed and self-loathing. As established in one study, men and women after frivolous communication regret different things. Canadian scientists conducted a survey, which revealed that men’s regrets focus on problems with the attractiveness of their partner, while women tend to be tormented by conscience and blame themselves. The whole reason is sexist social stereotypes, according to which a polygamous man is a male, and the same girl deserves only words, which I would recommend to replace with “unlimited socio-sexual orientation”.
5. Motives of casual sex influence pleasure from it.
In addition to being socio-sexually oriented, your satisfaction with casual sex is influenced by the reasons you enter into such a relationship.
A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior magazine in 2015 revealed two types of behavior in casual relationships: autonomous and non-autonomous. In the first case, the person decides to have an intrigue because of the desire to experiment, or sincerely attracted to the person. The second case is banal drunk sex or an attempt to get revenge on the former. It is not surprising that those whose motivations were non-autonomous experienced psychological problems after sex.
All of these studies lead to one conclusion: it is important to spend time figuring out your emotional or physiological needs before you decide to have sex on a first date or without a date. No matter how random this connection may be, it is in your power to prepare for it.